Owen had to take the chance.  Day after day, he felt closer to the spiritual world than the physical.  At sixty-two, he wasn’t ready to abandon his body and become a ghost yet. 

This new age of turning old had disoriented him, most of all from Veronica.  Before, Owen could posses what he loved in a fury of mad passion that would leave him and Veronica giddily exhausted.  But no more.  For years, she tormented him.  She was the Promised Land and he, Moses—and he knew he would never enter her, again.  And now, he was slowly forgetting the joys of his life.

He couldn’t stand another autumn with Veronica so close but unreachable.  He dreaded the fall and its promise of dreary winter.  Last year, he had fallen into such a winter stupor that he had actually longed to die. 

But Owen would take a stand.

Now, leaves were again falling in Vermont.  The last cold front sweeping down from Canada had cleaned the air and turned the landscape near Hanover crisp.  That afternoon, he and Veronica had visited Farley’s Orchid to pick sweet smelling Macintoshes.  As they stretched to the high branches, Owen wanted to feel Veronica’s tanned skin against his, lick the sweat from the nape of her, and once more, if only once more, see her brown eyes dilated dreamily beneath him.

Oh God, he felt like a schoolboy again going out on his first date.  Sure, Owen had been with women, and he was proud to say, had satisfied them.  But how he had done it?  He had forgotten.  It was as if he had died and crossed the river of forgetfulness.  Would the blue pill he had taken an hour ago rekindle those memories?  He felt flushed and scared in bed.  Suppose he failed?  Suppose he was doomed to drift ceaselessly from the body he loved? 

Suddenly, the steady surge of the shower yielded to a light dripping, and a harsh purge as the last of the hot water dripped from the facet.  She would emerge from the bathroom fog in a moment all pink and excited.  Suppose nothing happened?  What if the pill caused gas rather than an erection?  What if he had a heart attack?  Maybe he should rehearse with a solo.

It was too late.

The bathroom doorknob turned.  He inhaled deeply.  Whatever will be will be, he told himself. 

“Welcome Veronica,” Owen said, holding forth a martini.

 

******

 

Yes, yes, this how it once was.  He pumped into her, erect and hard.  He slowed to prolong the unity that had driven him mad.  She was his again.  He had united their spiritual oneness with two bodies now wonderfully and mystically one.  Owen licked her, caressed her, and pressed Veronica into him.  He withdrew and rubbed his fingers slowly across her flesh, savoring every sensation and then he pushed into Veronica again.

He felt alive!  All that mattered was now—right now.  And when he exploded into her, he wanted to sing and dance in celebration of new life beginning, but held her tight lest they separate.

They lay in a blissful contentedness as the sunset.

“Don’t go,” she whispered.  But he slipped out.

Her pretty face rested on his chest and they held hands.

“Are you okay?” Veronica asked.

“I’m great.  And you?”

“A little sore.  Aren’t you sore?”

“No.”

“You were big.  So incredibly big.”  She nuzzled into his solid chest.  “I don’t know if I can do that again.”

Owen was shocked.  He wasn’t ready to fall into the background and fade until he disappeared from anyone’s cares.  Sensuality tasted too sweet.

And what the hell, he had three sample blue pills left!  He felt like Jack being told not to plant any more beanstalks and cease and desist stealing those golden eggs!

“How about a lubricant?” Owen whispered.

“Oh, I couldn’t go into Brodine’s,” Veronica said.  “What will people think?”

“I’ll get it on the internet, or drive down to Connecticut where people don’t care what you do, or even go into Brodine’s myself.  I don’t care.  I want you.”

“You really do, don’t you?”

“I want you.  I love you.  I need to be in you.”

He felt himself growing hard again.

“Oh, what the hell,” Emily said.  “It didn’t hurt that bad.  Really, I liked it, but you’re big.”

Owen gazed into her eyes with pupils wide as a tunnel to her soul and smiled, gratefully.