“Hi Honey, I’m home.” I shrug out of my business clothes and into comfy loungers. I pull my hair into a pony-tail and wash the day's oils and problems off my face. My husband mumbles something, keys clack away on his computer behind the closed door. Theo probably brought work home. I worry about him. But only for a moment. My pulse quickens as I step into my small office. I turn on the computer and sit chewing my lower lip.

My computer desk faces my foor. For Someone to see my monitor's screen they have to walk around behind me.

I’ve been sneaky lately. While waiting for the computer to connect so I can click into the chat room that “he” will be in, I run out to the kitchen for a glass of wine. I rinse the defrosted chicken, and put it in a bowl to marinate. The salad fixings are still fresh. I wrap up baking potatoes for the grill and set out the dishes and cutlery. All is ready for dinner to be started, I head back to my office.

I see that the chat room has loaded. There “he” is. Asking about my day, my drive in from the city, about my plans for the weekend. I pause fingers over the keys. So much to say, and so little time. Something bangs in Theo’s office. I jump up and run to his door, throw it open. He has thrown his mouse across the room. It’s in little pieces on the floor.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I bend to pick up the little plastic pieces.

“Sue? Look at me.”

I’m kneeling there on the floor. “What’s wrong Theo? Bad day at work?” I’m sincere. It’s not like him to throw things.

“Yes, no. Oh it’s been a bad day, just not at work.” He stares into my eyes. He’s deathly still. My heartbeat kicks up a notch. My hands have started to tremble.

“Are you going to answer me? I’ve asked twice now. What. Is. Wrong?” I enunciate clearly, defensive because of my fear of being caught. Caught at what? I’m not sure what “it” is that I’ve been doing. A form of adultery? Cheating?

“Everything is wrong. You’re in your world, I’m in mine. We eat a quiet dinner every night and every night I work on these reports while you are in there buying clothes or talking to your “friends” on-line. This isn’t a marriage. This is like a boarding house. I’m tired of not having time for you, time for us. We have to make some changes Sue, or we’re going to drift apart and be old and lonely.” He hasn’t broken eye contact with me. His eyes have filled with unshed tears. Mine are misting up. I know now what I’ve been doing. I’ve been trying to find my Theo on-line. The one who always asked about my day, who was interested in my opinions. The man who I fell in love with. I’ve been unfaithful. Not physically, but emotionally. I’ve allowed someone to come between us. My vanity, my ego.

“Oh Theo.” I drop the plastic, grab his hands and squeeze. “I don’t know how this happened. When things changed, how we got to where we are now. Let me go turn off my computer, and we'll talk okay?”

He nods, turning his head so that he can brush tears away. I walk into my office, disconnect from the chat room. Turn off the computer. I see my reflection in the picture of Theo and me on the wall. I’m smiling.