He loves me, I know he does. Oh, he doesn’t say it but it’s there, in his eyes, his smile. He’s loved me for years.

Marsha tries to tell me he doesn’t. “I don’t know, Sam, his smile looks forced when he sees you.”

“Bah,” I told her, “you don’t see him when we’re alone.” She just shook her head.

“Why does he avoid you?”

“No, you have it wrong. I avoid him, it makes him miss me.” I smiled.

“You’ve lost it, Sam. He loves his wife. My god, he talks about her all the time.”

“That’s just a cover so people don’t suspect,” I informed her. She sighed. “You’ll see,” I assured her.

When I’m around Jason, my hands get all sweaty and my heart races. I try not to let it show but I’m sure it does. Sometimes he looks at me with a funny expression on his face. Guess he’s trying to figure out why I’m so nervous. He doesn’t know what his smile does to me. Oh, I love that smile. And the way he winks? My stomach does flip-flops when he does that. The other day he said he had something in his eye but I know better.

I saw him in the parking lot yesterday, now I know what kind of car he drives. I drove behind him for a while but he went on the freeway and I couldn’t because some idiot cut me off. I need to find out where he lives. Perhaps I’ll ask him the next time we meet. I would like to see his wife, poor woman. It must be so difficult when your husband is in love with someone else. I wonder if she knows?

I told Marsha about his smile. “That’s a grimace,” she said.

“No, really, you should see when we’re alone.”

“When are you alone with him, Sam? He keeps his office door closed now that you’re constantly bothering him.”

“No, that’s not why. He’s very busy, has a lot of work to do. If I want to see him, I just go in. Don’t even wait for him to answer my knock. That’s how it is with us.”

“Right,” is all she said.

I went to see him at lunch. I knocked and tried his door. It was locked. I thought I heard typing from inside so I called his number but there was no answer. His display must not be working because he would have seen it was just me.